Who's in charge here anyway?

Sitting at the 'puter pondering which bit of inane drivel to put to page, when it hits me...the lovely bride just walked by asking the dog if she needed to go outside to "tink tink".
I realize at that moment that we really aren't in charge.
We have, living at the abode, 3 full time indoor cats, one full time pit bull, one full time squirrel, one full time outdoor cat and one part time indoor cat. That is on top of the humans that the critters have to cater to their every whim.

Dog walks to the door, casts a soulful glance in humans direction and human drops everything to attend to dogs needs.
Cat walks to litter box, sniffs disdainfully and human scoops out their poop, bags it, removes it to the nearest waste receptacle and rakes aforementioned poop box in pleasing to the eye zen pattern.
6PM, all critters in house congregate around humans, looking at us with limpid eyes. Letting us know through every ounce of guilt inducing body posture that they really are starving. They might not even have the strength to make it to their bowls unless we stop everything RIGHT NOW and rush them their favorite repast. We mix their food with water, just the right temperature, put it in their favorite bowl, place the bowls the correct distance apart and ONLY THEN can we resume with our lives.
Dog sighs, casts mournful look at human, sighs again then rolls on back. The meaning is clear, I need tummy scratched and can you please stop watching the game winning drive in the super bowl and scratch RIGHT NOW.
They even have their own bodyguards...dog tries to sneakily lick food off a plate on the coffee table. I yell at dog, doggie bodyguard (aforementioned lovely wife) tells me that I have hurt dogs feelings. One look at dog tells me this is true, head down big brown eyes looking at me reproachfully...I APOLOGIZE TO THE DOG!!! If wife isn't around mom-in-law takes over. They work in shifts, like the secret service.
Dog mopes away to next room, closes the door, and I hear hysterical doggie laughter.
I could go on, but one of the cats is telling me that the poop box isn't raked properly...