the closet of plenty

I have decided that I may have to much in the way of attire. I'm not saying that I have attire that is in style, or even in this decade. But I certainly have to much in the way of attire.
This fact struck home this morning as I was preparing to leave the abode and foray out to the salt mine.
Now, those that know me know that I am a bundle of energy, always eager to leap into the next household chore....or maybe not.
Anyhoos, laundry is my favorite household chore....not.
The problem is this, my lovely bride and I usually have 2 rooms to hide away the masses of unwashed clothes. We do wash the stuff we have to, socks, undergarments, towels etc. but there never seemed to be a pressing need to wash say....shirts for work or pants for work.
When one gazes upon the closet of plenty there seems to be a never ending supply. However this morning as I climbed over the landfill of unhung clothes, to get to the hung clothes I realized a startling fact. I think that the pants I pulled down were actually the ones that I wore to Grad Night in 1978. And, as I frantically shuffle through the remaining shirts on the hangers I realize, with growing dread, that the most current clean shirt that I own is a Greg Norman golf shirt from around 1990.
Thank the Gods that today was Friday, I was able to wear jeans...and a 1990 Greg Norman golf shirt.
All day long the 20 something crowd was asking who Greg Norman is and why am I wearing a 4 color, line drawing of a shark.
Anyway I have come to realize that I do NOT actually have 30 pairs of pants in my closet. I have 4 or maybe 6 if I suck in my gut all day.
Nor do I have an endless supply of shirts. I can actually hear most of the shirts start to giggle when I pull one out for perusal.
I tried on a suit the other day and though I did manage get everything fastened I finally understood what a sausage must feel like, after being stuffed into a skin.....sigh.
It must be the fact that I am ever optimistic that keeps me from throwing out clothes that last fit me 20 years ago.
If I hold onto clothes long enough they may even come back in style. Although I haven't quite figured out how I would actually wear a pair of pants that I can only fit ONE leg into. There has to be a solution out there somewhere. In the meantime...
Good thing I love to do laundry....