Friggin Authors!

I am annoyed, mildly annoyed right now but annoyed nonetheless. I am annoyed with the very real possibility to get (as Marvin the Martian used to say) very, very angry.
I know that authors get paid by the word but some of them carry their wordiness entirely to far.
Case in point, last year I decided to give the Robert Jordan Wheel of Time series another shot. A pretty good high fantasy series but, MY GOD, the guy loved the sound of keys clacking on the keyboard. After spending MONTHS getting involved in a very damn convoluted story line, I was finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had gone through 12 FRIGGIN BOOKS of 700 to 1000 pages each, went to go find what must surely be the last book in this endless series....and what do I discover? THE AUTHOR DIED! That's right, he croaked right before the grand finale.
I ask you who in the hell is going to give me that time back?! Did the publishers have the courtesy to put a warning label on the books? Something like "Warning the books that you are about to read are good enough to get you sucked in...but will ultimately leave you feeling unsatisfied, 'cause the dude croaked". Nope. Those underhanded bastards are still pushing those 10,000 pages of foreplay at bookstores across the country, with nary a warning label in sight.
First of all, the premise itself is absurd. I mean the Bible goes from... BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF THE WORLD all the way to... THE END OF THE WORLD in considerably less than 10-12 THOUSAND pages. Don't you think a good author should be able to wrap up a storyline, about damn near anything, without being 10 times as wordy as the BIBLE?
Second, if it takes you a page or more to describe opening a damn door, you are verbally masturbating. I don't care if the door is a dark cherry stain, with the patina of generations of use gilding the hardware, The dents and dings showing the passage of generations of children that had played outside of the hallowed room that the door now guarded. The massive weight of the doors... BLAH BLAH BLAH...IT'S A FREAKIN' DOOR!!! He turned the handle and went in the room....I don't care about the door!! The door doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the damn story!! It's a door!
I'm a little testy now, because I have been sucked into yet another endless series of books. I am in the midst of book #8. I have books 9 and 10 already. And I see that book #11 is FORTHCOMING.
I think I'll write the publisher and see if they will send over the results of the authors last physical. With my luck he'll be a chain smoking, alcoholic that rides motorcycles without a helmet and likes to dive with great white sharks. If this guy keels over before finishing the damn series, I will limit myself to books by dead people. That way I can be sure they finished their epic vision before I start on it.
At least I know that Twain isn't going to add on to Huck Finn